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Queerty: Mike Pence’s doomed presidential campaign is in complete shambles and running on empty

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Mike Pence with a fly on his head.

In a shocking development, Mike Pence‘s presidential bid isn’t going well. Who could’ve imagined?!

Besides everybody whose name isn’t “Mike Pence,” of course.

The anti-gay former vice president, who holds the unique distinction of being equally loathed by the left and right, is struggling to raise money for his doomed candidacy. He raised a scant $1.2 million during the last fundraising period, the New York Times reports, putting his spot on the Republican debate stage in doubt.

Candidates must receive contributions from at least 40,000 donors to qualify for the first debate next month in Milwaukee.

Pence, despite being a lifelong conservative and hardcore evangelical, lacks a home in today’s GOP. He refused to throw the election for Donald Trump on Jan. 6, causing MAGA diehards to storm the White House and chant they wanted to hang him.

“Mr. Pence’s repeated defense of his actions to certify Mr. Trump’s defeat before Congress on Jan. 6, 2021, has alienated him from Mr. Trump’s loyal base without appearing to win many converts from the wing of the Republican Party that wants to move on from the former president,” writes the NYT.


Mike Pence is running for president? Had zero idea… still don’t care.

— Jeff (@JeffMNC) July 15, 2023

Stiffest man in politics

— Hot Take Politics (@Hot_Takes10) July 15, 2023

Gonna start a fake business where I call Mike pence’s fundraising team and see what sick shit I can get them to do for a million bucks and then ghost them

— brøke (tóxica) (@hedgefundmafia) July 15, 2023

Even the fly is embarrassed.

— TenaciousEye (@TenaciousEye) July 15, 2023

Weird how Mike Pence is struggling with the “hang Mike Pence” party

— SDocker (@schmotdocker) July 15, 2023

There’s no spinning Pence’s dismal fundraising numbers: they’re awful. Trump says his campaign and joint-fundraising committee raised $35 million in the second quarter, while Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis milked $20 million out of his supporters (jokes on them, considering the flailing Florida governor just slashed his campaign staff).

Further down the ballot, South Carolina senator Tim Scott said he had raised $6.1 million, and Nikki Haley raised $4.3 million. Even obscure candidates, such as North Dakota governor Doug Burham, netted more cash than the ex-veep.

Pence started laying the groundwork for his doomed campaign last winter, when he went on a national tour to hawk his crappy memoir, “So Help Me God.”

Nobody bought his book or two-year-old stories about Jan. 6.

Undeterred, Pence announced his candidacy June 5. Despite a 97% name recognition among voters, he still can’t get out of the low single-digits.

Up to this point, the most buzz Pence generated was when he stepped inside of Dunkin’ Donuts, and acted like it was an Eighth Wonder of the World.

Next stop, Iowa, to investigate rumors of a popular dining establishment called “McDonald’s.”

— Alec MacGillis (@AlecMacGillis) May 18, 2023

You may not believe me, but this was generated by a human. AI is so over.

— R/GA (@RGA) May 18, 2023

You are the saddest human ever.

— Hoodlum 🇺🇸 (@NotHoodlum) May 17, 2023

You were the Vice President of the United States for years and didn’t know America runs on Dunkin?

— Joshua Wallack (@JoshuaWallack) May 17, 2023

I heard of this place called Pizza Hut and *had* to try it out!

— JT3 (@iAmJ0HN3) May 17, 2023

Over the weekend, Pence found himself under attack from Tucker Carlson at a conservative conference, a true sign of his woes in the Trump-era GOP.

With his campaign failing, Pence has resorted to some good ol’ anti-LGBTQ+ fear mongering. He was a vocal opponent of the Los Angeles Dodgers honoring the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at their Pride night last month.

And even that hasn’t worked!

Just three years ago, Pence was a heartbeat away from the presidency. Now, he’s millions of dollars away from being able to lodge a formidable presidential campaign.

Oh well!

Scroll down for more reaction to Pence’s sad numbers…

Seriously why did he throw his hat in the ring? He has to know he will never ever win ever so why

— Jennifer (@saltycomment) July 15, 2023

Mike Pence? Who is he? The name sounds familiar, but just can’t place it.

— Shady Slim (@Webstractions) July 15, 2023

He’s a unity candidate; everyone agrees that they don’t like Mike.

— Bill Nemacheck (@BillNemacheck) July 15, 2023

Beyond his immediate family (and they’re not a slam-dunk), who would vote for this guy?

— Cloudbusting (@Im_Cloudbusting) July 14, 2023

Friendly reminder that Pence’s fellow Hoosier- @PeteButtigieg– raised $24.8M in the comparable quarter in 2019. So the former mayor of South Bend raised 20x what a former gov of Indiana, former VP did.

— Lis Smith (@Lis_Smith) July 14, 2023

Mike Pence is so funny. imagine your boss tells the entire nation that you should die and then years later everyone is like “welllll….”

— JP (@jpbrammer) July 14, 2023

Turns out no one likes a mayo sandwich on white bread with a glass of lukewarm milk.

— Mitchell Robinson (@mrobmused) July 15, 2023

Typically if your party’s primary voters try to murder you it does not translate into favorable electoral prospects.

— Jeff Lazarus (@jlazarus001) July 15, 2023

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