Did you know that Dementia Joe Biden has Whipped Inflation Now?
That’s right, what Gerald Ford only dreamed of doing, Biden has done. Just ask him. Inflation is so over.
At the White House last week, Brandon announced happy days are here again. The occasion was a new monthly inflation report that was, at best, marginally less catastrophic than earlier ones.
Egg prices only went up 11% last month! Thank you, Brandon.
“It all adds up to a real break for consumers,” Biden told his amen chorus in state-run media, “and breathing room for families and more proof that my economic plan is working.”
His economic plan is working! So the Democrats wanted all this to happen? Their plan was — is — to destroy the middle class.
Biden’s incoherent victory lap didn’t get nearly the attention it might have, if the headlines hadn’t been full of revelations about his “treason,” as Democrats described the discovery of classified documents at Mar-a-Lago last summer.
By the way, they’re only “classified documents” if they’re in a Republican’s safe in Palm Beach. If they’re in a garage in a house owned by a junkie on the payrolls of Ukraine, Russia and Red China, they are merely “papers with classified markings,” as per the New York Times.
Brandon was particularly thrilled about the price of gasoline. It was $2.11 per gallon on average in 2020, before the Democrats’ “plan” kicked in. Biden got the price up as high as $4.99 a gallon last summer, but now it’s around $3.30 a gallon (and rising again).
“Now gas is down more than a dollar-seventy from its peak!” he bragged. “That all adds up to a typical family with two vehicles saving $180 a month, every single month.”
But, Brandon, don’t you understand that gas prices are still up over 50% since you were installed as president? And now you’re telling us it’s all part of the plan. Talk about fuzzy math.
This is like a guy shooting you in the gut with a .45. And then as you’re lying on the ground, writhing in pain, he switches to a .22 and expects you to thank him before he finishes you off with a head shot from a smaller caliber.
Here are some numbers from the Consumer Price Index on the prices increases on some food staples, from December 2021 to December 2022:
Eggs: up 59.9%. Lettuce: 24.9%. Margarine: 43.8%. Butter: 31.4%. Flour: 23.4%. Fresh whole chicken: 13.3%. Hot dogs: 18.2%. Rice: 13.8%. Baby food: 10.7%. Etc.
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What say ye, Brandon?
“Two years in, it’s clear, clearer than ever, that my economic plan is actually working.”
I ask my radio listeners sometimes, how’s that Biden economic plan working out for you?
The price of eggs seems particularly grating right now. Of course that’s not Brandon’s fault either. It’s avian flu, which was no doubt caused by Putin or Trump or maybe even Ron DeSantis.
From area code 207: “I just paid $6.82 for 18 eggs. Let’s go Brandon!”
From 948 in Florida: “For 30 eggs at Publix, $18.99.”
From 781: “Bring back the caged hens & their tormented eggs… cheaper… I can’t afford free-range eggs anymore, give me the tormented ones.”
Rambo 413: “Scott’s 36-roll warehouse-sized package of TP, used to be $20.99. Same size package now costs $27.99. What an ass Brandon is.”
From 617: “My Waltham Market Basket donuts just went up 25% — $.80 to $1 each.”
From 508: “Sushi at Whole Paycheck yesterday. Same price but six pieces instead of the usual eight.”
From 978: “Luv broccoli. Shot up from $1.49 to $2.49 in one week at Market Basket in Salem NH. Used to be $1.29 or less many moons ago. Let’s go Brandon!”
From 917: “Folger’s coffee was $8.99 for 51 oz. Now $13.99 for 43 oz.”
From 508: “Kodiak cakes under Trump: $1 each. Under Biden: $2.20.”
Tim from NH: “I just left the Taco Bell drive-thru. A #4 plus a burrito cost me over 17 bucks! Let’s go Brandon!”
From 603: “Less than a year ago, I was buying eggs at Manchester NH Aldi’s for less than a dollar a dozen. Yesterday they were $4.79. Has he tried to blame Putin for it yet? WTF! THANK YOU BRANDON.”
From 781: “Oh come on MAN! I finally paid under $3 a gallon at BJ’s Norwood and now it’s going back up!”
From 401: “I just had my annual meeting with my financial guy. I have lost over $300,000 in my retirement investments. Thank you Brandon!!!!!”
From 781: “I just received my Dec. gas and electric bills, UP $35-$45 and every light in my house is LED. Thought they were supposed to save money.”
From 978: “Car wash was $3, now $5 a wash. Know it’s only $2 but it’s a 66.7% increase.”
From 917: “Here in NYC Jerry Nadler-land milk was $1.29 a quart all during COVID and inflation at Trader Joe’s until 2 weeks ago. Now $1.49 and at other chains $1.99 or even higher.”
Someone from the 863 area code in central Florida texted me a quote from the Declaration of Independence, which seemed appropriate for the occasion:
“Prudence indeed will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly, all experience hath shown, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.”
In other words, nobody wants to get rid of something that’s worked, or at least sort of worked, until that day that the entire society is upended for “light and transient causes” — say, millions of criminal illegal aliens allowed into the country to go on welfare and commit crimes with impunity.
Or shutting down entire industries on a superstitious whim. Or printing unimaginable sums of increasingly worthless currency with nothing behind it.
And then, the senile vegetable who’s the front man for the entire enterprise smiles and tells you to repeat, “It’s clear, clearer than ever, that my economic plan is working.”
It sure is. Let’s go Brandon!