Mitch McConnell is sick. And we’re not just talking about his politics. We’re talking about his hands. Something is seriously wrong with them.
Yesterday, a disturbing photograph of the 78-year-old Senate Majority Leader’s hands went viral. At first glance, the hands appear to be covered in dirt and bandaids. But a closer investigation shows they’re actually quite swollen, discolored, and possibly gangrened, almost like they’re about to fall off from his body.
This photo of Mitch McConnell’s hands from yesterday pic.twitter.com/9x5x2UhxvJ
— MeidasTouch.com (@MeidasTouch) October 21, 2020
Shortly after that, another deeply troubling photo of McConnell’s hands taken the day before began circulating online.
Mitch picking up his dropped mask yesterday pic.twitter.com/BiYgXdlWvm
— house of snarks (@houseofsnarks) October 21, 2020
Whatever is going on, it’s not good.
The Mary Sue reports:
The internet diagnosed a wide range of potential ailments, from someone who blew a vein trying to take blood, to someone on blood thinners or anti-coagulants, and beyond. Whatever’s happening here, it would appear that McConnell is possibly unwell and perhaps his primary focus shouldn’t be on rushing a Supreme Court Justice through her confirmation by Monday.
Twitter has had a lot to say about the matter…
Mitch McConnell: “They can have another stimulus when they pry it from my cold dead hands!”
Mitch McConnell’s hands: pic.twitter.com/cZ0ezvWFyN
— Backdoor Company (@DoorHinge9) October 21, 2020
Mitch McConnell’s hands are now as black as his soul.
— Kansas Grant (@KansasGrant) October 21, 2020
Mitch McConnell’s hands are trending because Mitch McConnell touched a horcrux …
You can’t convince me otherwise pic.twitter.com/Dkw0GlcQQf
— Jason E. Dunlap, SFC (Ret.), USIC (@Red_eyedjedi) October 21, 2020
Mitch McConnell’s hands. I’m more than a horror aficionado, I’m an expert. He is undead. I am filing my exclusive report with NYP as I type. pic.twitter.com/BlfAEvRZoc
— Wʏɴᴛᴇʀ Mɪᴛᴄʜᴇʟʟ (Rᴏʜʀʙᴀᴜɢʜ) (@wyntermitchell) October 21, 2020
His evil core finally seeping to the surface
— Chris (@xine_L_) October 21, 2020
Pick your poison pic.twitter.com/9WE6hXUpLE
— ☇RiotWomenn☇ (@riotwomennn) October 21, 2020
But the horror show didn’t stop there.
Because not long after taking notice of McConnell’s decaying hands, people started noticing his melting face also appeared to be in the early stages of decomposition.
Not a top story but…
Mitch Mcconnell’s face is falling apart. pic.twitter.com/KHPCFijRZK
— Skeletired (@skeletired) October 22, 2020
Once again, Twitter had quite a bit to say about the matter…
Oscar Wilde famously wrote: by middle age every man has the face he deserves. To which I have to say: goddamn, Mitch McConnell.
— Josh Swiller (@joshswiller) October 21, 2020
Mitch McConnell – His hand and face are showing possible respiratory failure and skin mottling.
If so, likely he is dying and I wouldn’t be surprised if he passes in the next few days.
— @___Lorenco___ (@___lor__) October 21, 2020
— James Whelan (@JamesWh91864658) October 21, 2020
Something is wrong with Mitch McConnell. The hands photos speak for themselves but this face shot….homeboy has tons of makeup on and is covering bruises and scabs. He is not. well. pic.twitter.com/8PY6aMiU1l
— Marge (@MaggieS_23) October 22, 2020
Mitch McConnell’s whole face is sinking into itself.
— TekKwenePhD (@tekkwene) October 21, 2020
Always knew this would happen. Ghouls can only maintain a physical form for so long before their corrupted spirit cores begin to breakdown.
— Grand Wear a GDamn Mask Moff (@GrandMoffJoseph) October 21, 2020
Of course, we would never wish ill on anyone. Never, ever, ever!
So instead, we’ll wish McConnell, who has spent the better part of the last decade trying to take away healthcare from millions of Americans, all the best in finding a manicurist willing to touch those tentacles.
Good luck, Mr. Speaker!